I guess this is grieving. Today I watched a video of two baby moose palying in a spinkler on www.cuteoverload.com. I found myself sobbing wondering if my Mom knew how much I loved animals and questioning whether I shared enough of myself with her.

My mom has been gone a month and a week now. As the hours and days and weeks go by I lose a little bit of my father as well. It isn't his fault. How can you go on when the person who was your best friend for 61 years dies. Every sound, every moment every day you are reminded again and again that you are alone for now. I watch him looking at the chair where she used to sit. I see the smile on his face when he sleeps and I know he is with her again.
I almost cannot bear to see him and be with him. He sleeps more and more every day. I know what he is waiting for. I knew before this happened that it would be far worse to live with my remaining parent than to lose them both.
Mom's birthday is in 2 weeks. Is it wrong to pray for the thing my father wants the most? Tobe with my mom again.