The funeral is today. My head is pounding. I miss my Mom. I cannot even imagine what my father is feeling. When we go to their house I still smell my Mom there.
I seems that somewhere I read as infants we imprint with our mother by smell. All my life I have been comforted by that familiar element.
I must be at the anger stage because I am just pissed off at everyone. In fact I have felt this way for weeks.
During one of the last really good lucid days that Mom had I was visiting and just sitting with Mom. Dad was out on one of his errands. Mom and I got a lot said in those times. I had made her something to eat and she was laying down agin. I helped her onto the couch and tucked her in under the afghan. She smiled and said I wish you were here every day.
At that point I was there every day, it didn't matter that she could not remember but it made me feel so good to know that I gave her comfort.